Stupidity is Dumb-EZ

By Norbert Kleinwitz

One basic tenet of criminal law holds that ignorance of the law is no excuse. That means that when congressmen pass laws without reading them, they are criminals. The founding fathers of our great nation accordingly gave members of congress a constitutional right to stay out of jail.  Our rich Judeo-Christian tradition entitles them to appoint scapegoats to be sacrificed in their place. That is why we go to jail for their sins.

To stay out of jail, we need an excuse for not understanding the incomprehensible federal statutes that bind us into a nation. Fortunately the supreme court has recently opened up a new loophole in the constitution. This loophole makes it easy to get away with murder. You don’t have to be ignorant:
be stupid instead!

The readers of this website (or any website) are far too intelligent to survive. My new book Stupidity for Dummies will teach readers how to dumb themselves down so they can fit into modern society. Here is the synopsis:

Chapter 1 – Why it is Important to Be Stupid

Chapter 2 – The New Age of Darkness

Chapter 3 – Famous Idiots in American History

Chapter 4 – Stupidity as a Political Asset

Chapter 5 – Hollywood and the Cult of Illiteracy

Chapter 6 – A High-Tech How-Not-To

Chapter 7 – Looking and Acting Dumb

Chapter 8 – How to Flunk Out of School

Chapter 9 – The One Minute Manager

Chapter 10 – How to Score Free Beer

Chapter 11 – Drugs for Dummies

Chapter 12 – More Drugs for Dummies

Chapter 13 – Still More Drugs for Dummies

Chapter 14 – Suck-cessphool Ctupidity

You can help me write this book. Just put $20 cash in anenvelope and mail it to me.

If I ever do find a publisher, I promise (cross my heart and hope to die) to send you a copy of the book. In the meantime print out the certificate below
and fill in your name to prove that you are really stupid. Then go out and commit crimes. When the officers arrest you, show them the certificate and explain that you claim a federal exemption under IRS regulations.

The certificate makes a great gift, for inlaws and outlaws, nephews, social refuse, and anyone else you happen not to care for. But remember (and it’s essential) that this valuable credential will not take effect unless it is paid
in full.

The method is effective. Your privacy protected. Your name erased without a trace or track. But if your jurisdiction rejects this little fiction, don’t even think of asking for your money back.

–George M Cohan

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Get Out of Jail Free Card

This sertifiez that

X_______________________________________________

is *really* ctupid.

www.ctupid.com

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